Tuesday, 25 October 2016

Going to the chapel just got a little closer

Two hen parties down, one to go and a stag weekend in Chernobyl (yes you read that correctly)  for Andrew to attend. I have learned the more you say to your girlfriends "no penis" the more likely penis will appear.

Andrew raises an eyebrow when I tell him of my hen events. However his stag has received more raised eyebrows than my choice of cities. When people ask me where he is going and I respond Chernobyl, they say "No, where is he really going?"  Ever since he bought that book 100 places you will never visit, he has the strangest destinations he wants to go. I did draw the line at Tuscan Titan missile site for the honeymoon. I can't really complain. I knew he was outrageous when I met him. One of his finest qualities.

Anyhoo, the wedding is getting closer, seven weeks to be exact. Where the ruddy hell has the year gone?!!?
It was only yesterday when he asked me to marry him. We are ready, I think!
Venue: Check
Dress Check
All other paraphernalia: Check
First wedding dance music: Check.... oh hang on .. hang on. We have discussed it, narrowed it down, discussed it more and decided perhaps dance lessons are needed. So we had our first one last night. The premise is we learn some basic moves and Andrew leads and generally makes it up as he goes along.
Slight hiccup Andrew doesn't dance and for me dancing is about; as a guy once said to me in a club
" no one puts baby in the corner" I think we have discovered our first incompatibility.
Apparently we have to watch Dirty dancing for the brace not the lift; I haven't loss that much weight! Then perhaps Andrew will be less Herman Munster and more Johnny. He does seem to be enjoying it, especially the bit when the dance teacher says " Irene pull Andrew's finger"  for balance whilst twirling. Andrew likes that bit, saying "pull my finger" . As I said earlier he is outrageous.

So we need to practice. However that may be a bit delayed after I had to locate him in the emergency department today with a sore knee. It would seem he has twisted it. The reason I found him in minor injuries is because I heard his dulcet tones saying " my clackers are blowing in the wind when you move my legs that way". Oh the shame. A spot of rest required and practice for our wedding dance maybe a bit delayed. At least his clackers won't be all over the place.

So for the readers attending the wedding it might be you see me push him about on the dance floor like Lou and Andy pointing at various items saying "I want that one". We always have the David Brent Pilates dance to fall back on.