Remember when the Millennium was approaching? People, I say people, I mean those that watched Richard and Judy that day as he talked about buying things and storing them for the world to end. Well those people went out panic buying baked beans and powdered milk. What happened when the bells struck 12 that mammoth eve? Nowt that's what happened. I remember it being nowt as I was standing in my street toasting the bells like I had done previous years. I woke up with a monumental hangover and a house that looked like it had just had a home invasion. I was so glad that I didn't have a kitchen full of baked beans and powdered milk to accompany the empty wine glasses and lots of bottles.
Anyway I have gone off at a tangent. Working shifts is hard, you lead an antisocial existence doing your week of nights or those miserable late Sunday shifts. Now as a Monday to Friday worker I enjoy my weekends. However with that I find my self in Waitrose on a beautiful sunny day being interrogated by the till assistant. As she beeped my shopping through the scanning thingy, she started a running commentary rummaging through my items. There should be some customer till assistant code of conduct where rule one is "Never comment on the customers shopping". Its embarrassing! Maybe she is a spy for Jamie Oliver to see if shoppers are actually "reconnecting with food and resuscitating dying food culture and ultimately keeping cooking skills alive.” Now I get that Jamie. I can resuscitate a dried, dead mushroom at the back of the fridge to look like fabulous cuisine but do you need to send Margaret from Jersey Waitrose to report every ruddy thing in my basket?
" Whats that? What do you do with that?"
"Its for a cheese board" I respond.
"You put it with cheese well I have never EVER seen one of them"
Then there was the marrow I bought. "Oh these are very popular today" Maybe thats because there is a bucket load reduced I thought.
"Well you can't have one of those when you live on your own they are too big"
I said nothing.
The lady behind is now smirking as she looks down at her shopping knowing any minute now she will endure the same experience. Glancing over she has a fairly well balanced shop. Her embarrassment may only be 2 minutes long over the papaya she is hiding under a loaf of white bread.
|What you looking at? Never seen a tomato before?|