Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Invest in yourself

So I wrote a Facebook post recently  about having a "Be kind to myself" week. I thought about it  later after I wrote it. I thought some might think " I wish I had that time to myself" and " all those cocktails and hotels, how much kindness does she need?!"  

So I thought about it some more which naturally drew me to writing my blog. I am tired, I don't mean late nights tired, I just mean tired. I have lost 2 1/2 stone on operation wedding frock so far,   people keep saying "you must feel better"? I pause and say yes but then think I am still tired!. Recently I have been doing a lot of work, study, wedding planning and children juggling. No more than anyone else I am sure; but once I felt I was so close to the wall I could lick the paper off. I thought  time to stop a little and be kind to myself..

So there it started. I am not saying to be kind to oneself it requires a staycation. I spent 30 minutes staring at the ceiling this morning and thoroughly enjoyed it! I understand that 30 minutes is a little longer than the recommended 2 minutes to appreciate yourself but I thought what's a little over indulgence?
It was certainly better than the 30 minutes I spent discussing what kind of toilet I wanted for my wedding marquee!
In order to be truly kind to myself I needed a little help whether it was getting a week's annual leave off work or Andrew doing the school duties. I have no doubt work will still be there when I get back but Alice on the other hand might not. There appears to be an abundance of apples in the kitchen and on further investigation Andrew has been convinced by Alice that Haribo is one of the 5 a day. No wonder she is enjoying Daddy mornings getting ready for school as it means having a butt warmer in the car rather than the school bus and a Haribo fruit snack.

I wrote a be kind to myself list of things to do starting with "watch law and Order  from the beginning again". I didn't get any further with the list because after 3 episodes I nodded off. With 456 episodes produced I might need to do my be kind list when I am staring at the ceiling for 30 minutes.

Now exercise should energise me I thought. So I have joined a gym. Well I say gym I mean a spa that has a little corner for equipment the Marquis de Sade sold them. So far I have done 3 lengths in the pool, sat in the Jacuzzi and steam room. We all have to start somewhere! So I took it up a notch; return of the cross-trainer at home. I have a plan to get fitter at home before visiting the Marquis de Sade's torture room. There is a trainer at the spa who is ready to get me motivated, I just wave at her as I pass her en route to doing 3 lengths. I am sure if she got her hands on me she would be productive but I will carry on with Alice. I can distract her with a bag of Haribo.

In my early 20's I went to the gym a lot until I couldn't get up from emptying a catheter bag when I worked in  ICU. It required an anaesthetic intervention; meaning one of the registrars oiking me up whilst eye rolling. So that was short lived.

Andrew is also in the getting healthy mood and is supportive. However when he said no matter what you look like in your dress, it won't matter to me. I paused, starred and quietly whispered "I am not doing it for you dear, I am doing it for me".

That's what I really mean about a "be kind to yourself week" . It is about having a moment of doing what you want. I know you might not be able to manage a week readers but if you can find 30 minutes of being vacant I would thoroughly recommend it for recharging your batteries.  That might seem counter productive for a "invest in yourself moment" but whatever it is; do it to be kind to yourself rather than others.

Logic would follow that I complete this blog with an affirmation but as its my " be nice to myself week", I have finished with something inappropriately funny that makes me laugh.


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