Saturday, 5 November 2011

I want to tread the boards you Dirty Birdy you!

I have my peppermint tea and I am ready to blog. Last night I went to the Jersey Arts Centre for the first time. Its ridiculous I have been here over a year and not been. The occasion was a night out with my pal to see a theatre production of The Full Monty. She omitted to tell me it was a musical version with American accents, but front row seat are front row seats, one shouldn't grumble at that.

The thing about amateur dramatics it could go either way. I have seen many productions some that make your toes curl in a blackboard scratching way. The Full Monty is a pretty decent story layered with amusement and if its really that bad you get to see boys bums. I see a silver lining in everything.

At times I was generally tittering at the wrong reasons like when they failed to maintain the American accent and became an Australian. The lead was cute and he gave it his all he even maintained the American accent whilst singing. It was jolly good entertainment. There was a lovely boy who thought "sod it I am not going to attempt an American accent" . He could be forgiven because he was Irish and I am a sucker for them. All in all I enjoyed it. A different night out than usual.

It did get me thinking though. Ooooh I think I would like to do that. Not strip with a security guards hat whilst singing in a half New Yorker/Texan accent; but have a bash at Amdram. I have always felt a bit theatrical and generally my talent has been showcased through the medium of teaching medical courses. I have played the doctor giving bad news, the relative, a midwife and a variety of other medical roles. I think I pushed a baby out from between my knees once. Oh my god I got a flash back then.

When human patient simulation became the order of the day, I assisted with becoming the female voice for the manikin. In particular the obstetric scenarios. It took me about 10 takes in a room on my own talking into some recording device. I was asked to be someone bleeding to death whilst saying I felt sick. Apparently I sounded more 'Debbie does Dallas' than Matilda the young girl with the post partum heamorrhage. That recording would return to haunt me one day.

I had to return to the amdram of medical matters and pretend to fit for the eclamptic lady. I think those boys who run them simulators popped a blonde Dolly Parton wig on the manikin on purpose. For continuity I had to wear the wig, clipped on. I looked like a bloke who was playing the part of Drag Queen Dolly. Every time I set off fitting, my wig slipped down my face a la wonk! Following securing the offending item, I set off fitting again, then it was a rap. Apparently I do a good fit. Then it happened the Debbie does Dallas recording was played. I recognised my panting. However some bugger had dubbed it with periodic words such as harder or faster. I could cope with that to a degree then the grand finale was the recording of a horse neighing and me saying thank you. Those simulation boys are rather meddlesome.

Thinking back even my acting debuts outside of the medical world sort of always landed in disaster. I had to play some aunt in Arabian Knights pantaloons. As I outstretched my arms to shout "Anook come here" my trews fell down to reveal my knickers that said Tuesday. I  had to be rescued as the teacher felt with so much material in the pantaloons I might fall over if I set off at a trot. Standing there in front of a hall of sniggering I waited until my teacher refastened my Scarab beetle clasp on my trews and returned back stage. Secondary school acting was about selecting children that was easy on the eye. My home done tight perm was apparently a bit distracting so I became the narrator for plays as apparently my voice had great expression.

I do adore acting and Julie Walters started out as a nurse. I can't think of a better role model than that. I was asked recently who would play me in a film. I really wanted to say Kate Beckinsale but I think she might be a tad taller than me! I picked Kathy Bates  casted as Annie Misery. I wouldn't have her for all the sections of my life. However I thought being able to say "You Dirty Bird" tickled me no end. However my most favourite interpretation of Annie Wiles is the below featured French and Saunders. I just watched it and its still as hilarious.

Maybe I would be much better suited to comedy Who knows but I think I am going to have a wee peek at the world of amdram in Jersey. I will keep you posted.

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