Saturday, 27 August 2011

There is no place like home.

Well, its bank holiday weekend and I thought of returning to the UK, but here I am at home instead. The reason I stayed here in Jersey is because for the first time ever; I stopped calling the North home. This is a huge turning point for me. For endless months I cried and felt home sick, even worse than when I was sent off to France for school. Endless blue steaks I think is what grounded me to be a vegetarian. I didn't appreciate at the time that France was going to be a positive experience for adulthood, in very much the same way I thought Jersey was going to  finish me.

From the day I moved here, I would constantly think
"there is no place like home". Home for me wasn't Kansas but this little city called Preston.
A place  where my friends were, who I would go to Pond with and have tapas and red wine.
A place where I would sit in a garden and watch my friends beautiful daughter giggle as I called her Honey Bee.
A place where I worked somewhere that I loved, where I could walk end to end of a hospital corridor and say several good mornings and know their names.
I don't  think I ever felt a pain like it. I can only equate it to a bereavement. However here I am now sitting in my lovely cottage in my home, called Jersey. I  read a quote today which made me think to write about this particular topic.
"Home is not where you live but where they understand you. "
Christian Morgenstern

I think that's the key, its about being understood and having people around you that love you unconditionally. For my friends that read this that are in the UK, Ireland and Australia we have a history, its established and true friendship. Generally you have been with me with a long time. Here in Jersey I found friends that rapidly became true. There are many here who have become friends but there are six significant ones who rescued me from sinking. Each of them are friends for their own merit.

The friend that made me remember who I was, who taught me how to shake my arse again, who injected a energy into my life which made me forget how I was hurting.

The friend who adorably bought me a bag of happiness, so I could look at it daily in my office whilst I pined for my previous work place, who brought me tomatoes from her father's garden because I had no money to eat properly.

The friend that listened to me without judgement as I cried and poured my heart out and laid myself bare. Who said I never needed to say sorry to her for how I was feeling.

The friend who sat with me in the park whilst I cried and couldn't speak, who took me under his wing and guided me through my stressful professional maze.

The friend who welcomed me into her family life and had the kindness to go on a mad gardening frenzy today with me, so when I look out my window I see beauty and when I return home from work I smell the scent of jasmine.

The friend that is my little piece of the north who can talk endlessly with me about things people possibly don't find funny. Who told me I had spirit.

So here I am in my home and I feel content. Whilst I write this I am chatting to a friend on MSN and one on facebook. I never really got the whole social networking thing but thank heavens someone had the sense to do it. I am fortunate enough to still talk frequently to those friends I miss.

I now have another reason to stay. He is away this weekend and I miss him and I will be glad when he returns home. (don't get over excited readers we ain't shacked up, I mean my home). 
Growing up all I wanted was to be was a nurse, and bake cakes and take care of someone and be taken care of and also have a rose garden. I know that sounds a bit dull but I never wanted the smell of success. I am a simple soul and can relate to the below
Every house where love abides
and friendship is a guest
Is surely home, and home sweet home
for there the heart can rest

Henry van Dyke

So to those I love, if you are ever passing please call in and you may get a cake. If you don't you will certainly get a smile because I am happy. If you are not sure if its you I  love , then ask yourself do I call you my friend and if the answer is yes, then there is your answer.


  1. I am glad you sound happy and contented at last pet you deserve to be :)
    I enjoy your blogs
    Take care

  2. So glad your feeling more content.xx

  3. whoopee!! renee's back in the room and its full of butterflies x

  4. I am not sure who left the last comment but to remark about butterflies (which gave me a lump in my throat), well they know me very well.