Thank you for the facebook messages and texts. My 40th was probably the worse birthday ever not because I turned an age I didn't want to be but because it was a traumatic. This year sort of took me back to that. So I have took a deep breath and thought right Irene this year is going to be different, it has to be.
Birthday cards are generally something you pick up from Smiths and send. Me I am lucky I have friends that write more than happy birthday in them. I cried when I opened them, it made me miss you all. I generally only cry when I open my card from Barbara in Australia as I miss her. When she left it broke my heart like a teenage crush, that's eased now with time and I have come to realise that no matter what distance there is or no matter how many years past she will always be my Yogi bear to her Booboo.
This year I cried at every card. I am not sentimental generally but moving away from friends only brought me closer to them. When the chips were down, they were there every step listening to my repeated "God what have I done" and incessant tears. Being told that I am the strongest woman they know and can do this made me take grasp of my own destiny. I am not quite there yet but I am better than I was on my last birthday.
Right anyway I am not being melancholy its my ruddy birthday. Each card told something about my friendship with them. I have a mind like a video diary, words can transport me to a moment or some memory in glorious technicolour. You may of detected this in my style of writing. I love it (smiles).
Babs sent me a card with "bubbles are a vital part of any occasion". This is true my friendship with her was about how much champagne you can quaff down your neck. We managed a fair amount. We weren't always such toffs. In our 20's after a late shift we could finish at 10 run home jump out of our uniform be in the pub for 10.10 with a pint of Stella and a bag of roast onion crisps. We managed that every late shift. Two pints then Yogi and Booboo trundled back home. I am sniggering just at the thought of how much Stella we put away those years.
Tears changed to pissing myself laughing when Tonionio had wrote she is sending me dancing. I love dancing so much that when I was 23. I remarked in a club to my friend "oh my god when I get old if someone told me I can't dance anymore, I will just die". Here I am older and still dancing..yay..go me!
When Lynne and Toni visited me, they were threatened by some crazy alcofrolic woman to a dance off. I so wanted to see Lynne do it, but as remarked previously in a post she is a good catholic girl and affords herself much more dignity (coughs). However as we ran off watching Toni shout to the crazy woman "Its a good job its not Karaoke, I would have to pull out my Piu Jesus, then we will see". Oh my ribs! I am laughing my head of thinking of how funny that looked.
If you have never sent or received a Moonpig card get straight on it. I received one from someone who I haven't known as long as you lot but it was clear he truly new me. After getting over how could you use that picture shriek, I laughed hard it was very me, the words. Its hilarious, I thought great no crying, just laughing. Then I opened it, the bugger had to go and write "May you never loose your lovely smile not even for a moment". It came the floods from eyeballs and snot and that awful noise we make when we are gulping air.
I am composed now and thinking about what to wear when I go out later. I am celebrating with a mate, I have never managed to leave sober. He is more climatised to the principle of early drinking, I am still in training.
Sunday is when I celebrate my birthday having lunch on the Beach with my girlfriends. I am looking forward to it, but I will think of you at home. Who knows I may get a story out of it!
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